Monday Morning Blues

Sheel, u, 33 yrs old, Account Executive, has been facing the same problem for some time now. She is feeling very stressed out at work. It all began with a missed meeting she got a firing for, but she has not been able to really get into gear after that. The work day stretches on and on and feels like avoiding responsibilities as well as people. It’s off. She has never been this way and she knows she would snap out of it. But…

Amitabh, B, 29 yrs old, PR officer always thought himself an extremely well balanced highly energetic chap, until now. A chance crib conversation about himself he has overheard, between two juniors has sent him into a deep spell of self doubt and gloom. He just is not himself at work any more. To make matters worse he fights with his wife almost every night. She seems to have no idea what he is facing….

Gouri. S, 25 yrs old, Teacher, feels that her confidence level is on some kind of rollercoaster ride. For tow weeks she feets fine and works well, then suddenly for a week she plunges into gloom and has difficulty putting on a smile at work. Ordinary tasks seem difficult and her brain seems to have applied for sick leave. She has invented a stomach illness to explain her moods, but she desperately seeks some balance..

A couple of thousand years ago everything was fine. You slept in a cave. When you got hungry you went out and plucked something from a tree. When you got thirsty you went to a nearby pond. When you got bored you drew on the cave walls. Then some bright guy spoiled it all. He invented work. Now all of us have to go to office. Through the week we spend 40 to 50 hours trying to earn a living. And sometimes it gets really tough. Believe me I know about tough. In my first year of working life I had a boss who made me work till ten at night. He had me hanging around on Saturdays, even Sundays. After a year of this he sacked me.

Later on I shifted from Calcutta to Delhi. And for the first few months I could not handle the pace. I used to come home and feel like crying. Now its fifteen years later and still I go through deep park gloomy phases when my brain refuses to function and I dream of being anywhere but office. But along the way I have picked up certain survival rules that help me hand on when the tunnel seems dark. And sure enough, the phase passes and I am back to my usual happy irreverent energetic self.

So this one is for all of you who wonder what to do when you feel that nothing is going right. When you feel that you have been dumped in a pit with no view of the sky. When you feel so itchy and restless you wonder how you are going to get back on even keel. When you feel that no one understands what you are facing. When your brain feels like a computer on hand. When you cannot work at work. The first thing to remember is that it is absolutely normal. Everyone, and I mean everyone faces it sometimes or the other. Normally there is always a trigger either a sudden one or a slow burning fuse that sends you into a tailspin. A fight with a colleague. Politics in office, a girlfriend or boyfriend who jilts you, a presentation that goes badly. And whoomphsuddenly you are in the middle of a full scale depression plodding through your working hours. What do you do then? How do you cope? Here are some recipes you can try out.

Recipe No.1. Don’t sit quiet. Have a conversation with yourself.

One rally typical thing that people do when they are down is sit by themselves somewhere quiet and surrender to a deeply depressing whirlpool of depressing and disturbing thoughts. Well don’t. If you must sit by yourself then TALK to yourself, aloud. Ask questions and answer them. Why am I feeling this way/ Are things really that bad / I suppose not/Why don’t I try a more positive approach etc. Argue with yourself. Reason with yourself. Hear yourself through. Be patient but be firm. Often when you talk, you are forced to make more sense that when you just have thoughts. Perhaps that is why all of us are so good at advising everyone….but ourselves.

Recipe No.2. Create a perspective for a loved one.

You feel that when you go home your wife, husband or parents don’t understand you. Well that’s often because you have not given them the knowledge to understand or advice. Sure you have told them that you are facing a tough time at work, maybe even given them a sketchy idea about your problem, but that is all. No matter how bad you are feeling and no matter how little you feel like talking, take a deep breath and give them a full perspective. This way they are more tuned in to your situation and can give you more meaningful advice. Hey! You feel really angry when your boss or colleague does not explain things in full. Then why do the same thing to someone who loves you and would really like to help you.

Recipe No.3. Find your Garden of Tranquility

As I told you earlier when I first came to Delhi I was having a really tough time. Soon in desperation I started going for walks in the lunch break reasoning aloud with myself. And you know what? In one of my walks I found a little park that no one used in the day. This park had a little bench where you could sit under some trees in lush green grass and feel totally at peace. I began calling it my Garden of Tranquility and it really helped calm me down. How about you? Can you find your zone of tranquility? On a bench? Up on the roof? Somewhere that spells calm to you. Search.

Recipe No.4. Help someone else.

I know that his one sounds really strange but it works. When you are down try helping someone else. You may have small problem but it is obvious that someone else has a really big problem but it is obvious that someone else has a really big problem. When you start focusing on someone else’s troubles besides your own, you start to see things in perspective.

Recipe No.5. Break the rut. Smash the routine.

Yes, Often when we get into a rut for days on end we do the same ting. Get up. Frown. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV. Eat. Worry. Sleep. Get Up. And on and on. Does not make sense. How are you going to have any new insights? When you are not doing anything new. Jog. Walk.
Take an overnight trip. Visit people you have not seen in a long time. Phone a friend. Do new things. Of course if all this does not work you can always seek professional help. Psychology Spirituality (I have a friend who worked the reat race for 15 years and now she specializes in healing people at four different levels).
The world is a fascinating place. Big Huge. Wondrous. Amazing. Do not narrow it down to a little tunnel that sucks you in walk in the night. I will end with a poem I have written for you
So why don’t you shine for the sun
Walk as a child of light
Keep yours eyes shining bright
And even if there is dark, notice
That the stars twinkle at night.

Courtesy : Shivjeet Kullar